Rethinking Social Media as a Doula (And Why Most Advice Fails You)
How to Stand Out as a Doula in a Crowded Market
I want to start this episode by telling you the truth about what content creation actually looked like for me for a long time.
Because it wasn’t effortless.
It wasn’t intuitive.
And it definitely wasn’t making me money.
At one point, I did exactly what everyone said to do.
I bought the course.
Then another one.
Then I created the spreadsheet.
You know the spreadsheet.
Color-coded. Content pillars. Posting days. Hooks. Reels. Stories. Calls to action.
I batched content like a responsible business owner.
Blocked the time.
Recorded the reels.
And then… I’d fall off the wagon.
So instead of asking why that kept happening, I decided the problem must be accountability.
So I created an accountability pod.
We held each other to this completely unrealistic cadence of content creation — posting constantly, staying visible, “showing up no matter what.”
And honestly?
It would work… for about two weeks.
Then life would happen.
Or I’d get tired.
Or it would start to feel heavy and forced.
And I’d fall off again.
If I actually add up the time — planning, batching, recording, editing, rewriting captions, joining pods, consuming content about content —
I was easily spending five to ten hours a week on social media.
Five to ten hours.
And here’s the part that matters most:
Not once did a reel bring me a client on its own.
Not once did I go viral.
Not once did I feel like Instagram was growing my doula business bottom line.
What it did do was make me feel behind.
Like I was bad at consistency.
Like something was wrong with me.
And that’s when I realized something important:
The problem wasn’t my work ethic.
And it wasn’t the algorithm.
It was the way I was thinking about social media entirely.
So today’s episode isn’t about posting more.
It’s not about reels or trends or hacks.
Today is about rewiring how you think and feel about social media inside your business and inside your brand — because until that shifts, no strategy will stick.
And that’s where we need to start.
If you feel invisible as a doula right now, it’s not because you aren’t good at what you do.
And it’s not because families don’t value doulas.
It’s because most of what you’ve been told to do to “get visible” is quietly working against you.
And I know that’s frustrating — because you are trying.
You’re showing up.
You’re posting.
You’re thoughtful and intentional and heart-led.
And somehow… it still feels like you’re talking into the void.
Here’s the part people don’t love hearing:
The market isn’t too crowded.
It’s just very loud — and very similar.
Scroll social media for five minutes and tell me you don’t see it.
Same topics.
Same tone.
Same careful language.
Same “I support you wherever you’re at” energy.
None of that is bad.
But it is forgettable.
Families aren’t confused because they don’t have enough information.
They’re confused because everyone sounds interchangeable.
And when everything feels interchangeable, people default to price, convenience, or whoever replies first.
Not trust.
Not alignment.
Not “this is my person.”
That’s the real visibility problem.
Let me say this plainly.
Posting more will not fix unclear messaging.
Consistency will not fix blending in.
Education alone will not make someone choose you.
Families aren’t hiring a doula based on who knows the most.
They’re hiring based on who makes them feel calmer, clearer, and safer in the middle of uncertainty.
And that comes from how you think out loud — not how much you teach.
Most doulas never show that part.
Here’s where I see people get stuck.
They describe their work like a job description.
“I offer emotional support.”
“I provide evidence-based information.”
“I help families feel empowered.”
Okay. Truly.
But how?
What do you notice first when someone starts talking to you?
What makes your internal alarm bells go off?
What do you gently challenge that others avoid?
Because that’s the difference.
Families don’t need another doula who says they support informed decision-making.
They need someone who can say,
“Here’s what I’m noticing.”
“Here’s why this feels heavy.”
“Here’s what usually helps right here.”
And if your content never shows that —
people have no way to understand why you matter.
Let me slow this down and make it real.
When someone lands on your page, they are not asking,
“What certifications does she have?”
They’re asking — often without realizing it:
Does she understand the moment I’m in?
Will she help me think when I’m overwhelmed?
Will she speak up when I can’t?
So here’s something I want you to try — not as homework, just as awareness.
Finish this sentence out loud:
“I’m the doula you hire when…”
If your brain freezes, that’s important.
Not embarrassing.
Informative.
Most doulas have never been asked to define that.
Another thing that keeps people invisible?
Trying to be agreeable to everyone.
I get it.
Birth work is tender.
There’s a lot of emotion.
A lot of fear around saying the wrong thing.
But here’s the honest truth:
If your content feels safe to everyone, it won’t feel meaningful to anyone.
Leadership doesn’t mean being harsh.
It means being willing to name things.
It means saying,
“This is what I see all the time.”
“This is where people usually get stuck.”
“This is what actually helps here.”
Families don’t want someone who just validates forever.
They want someone who can gently say,
“Let’s pause. Let’s think. You’re not crazy — and here’s why.”
That’s not pushy.
That’s grounding.
And grounding is magnetic.
Here’s a reframe that changes everything:
You are not hired to provide information.
You are hired to reduce uncertainty.
So ask yourself:
What decision do I help families make faster?
Not perfectly.
Just sooner.
Do you help them trust their instincts sooner?
Ask better questions sooner?
Recognize when something isn’t sitting right sooner?
Slow the room down sooner?
That’s the work.
And when your content does that — even subtly — people lean in.
Because clarity feels like relief.
Let’s talk about what this actually looks like online.
You do not need a total rebrand.
You do not need to reinvent yourself.
You do not need to suddenly become louder or more dramatic.
But you do need to stop hiding behind vague language.
Your bio should give me a sense of who you’re for
and what it feels like to be guided by you.
Not everything you offer.
Not your entire philosophy.
Just enough for me to say,
“Oh. That’s different.”
Pin one post that says what you believe.
Not ten. One.
And when you write, try this shift:
Instead of explaining —
try deciding.
“This matters more than people think.”
“This is usually where things fall apart.”
“This is what actually helps when emotions run high.”
That tone alone changes how people experience you.
I want to say this next part carefully.
Standing out isn’t really a marketing move.
It’s an identity move.
It asks you to stop buffering everything you say.
To stop waiting for permission.
To trust that your lived experience actually counts.
And yeah — that’s uncomfortable.
Because being seen means being misunderstood.
It means not everyone will agree.
It means you can’t hide behind being nice all the time.
But the right people don’t need you to be perfect.
They need you to be clear.
And clarity is kind.
So I want to leave you with this.
If something shifted for you while listening today —
not in a dramatic way, but in that quiet “oh… that makes sense” way —
pay attention to that.
Because most doulas don’t need to work harder.
They don’t need to post more.
They don’t need to become someone else.
They need clarity.
Clarity around what makes them different.
Clarity around how they’re being perceived.
Clarity around why the right people aren’t finding them yet.
And that’s exactly what a clarity call is for.
If you’re listening and thinking,
“Yeah… I need help seeing this more clearly,”
that’s your cue.
One conversation.
Real feedback.
No pressure.
