How The First 5 Minutes Of Your COnsultation Make or Break the Birth Booking—Hey Doula: Say This, Not That

Aug 3

Let’s be honest: you’re probably not losing clients because of your pricing.

You’re losing them because of what happens before the pitch—even before you explain your offer.

Most doulas lose the consult in the first two minutes.

The moment you open Zoom and say, “Sooo… tell me about your pregnancy,” she’s already deciding whether she’s leaning in—or backing out.

In the world of doula consultations, the first few minutes are everything. They set the tone. They build the energy. They decide if your dream client feels held—or checked out.

And if you’re winging it? She can feel that.

The First Few Minutes = The First Few Contractions

Think of it like labor: how you breathe through the first few contractions determines how you settle into the rhythm.

Your role as a doula—and as a leader—is to bring calm, grounded confidence from the second the call begins.

That doesn’t mean being stiff or scripted. It means:

You’re not winging it.
You’re not letting her lead the energy.
You’re not turning the call into a therapy session.
You’re showing up as a clear, confident guide.

This is where trust, clarity, and leadership are built—and those are the qualities that convert.

The 3-Question Warm-Up Framework (Say This—Not That)

Here’s the exact framework I give my clients to start consults with power, presence, and ease. These questions are clean, effective, and put you in control without being controlling.

Question 1: “Hey [Name], how’s your week been so far?”

Why it works: It’s personal but contained. It sets a warm, friendly tone without inviting a 10-minute vent session.

What NOT to say:

“How are you?” (Too generic.)
“What’s up?” (Too casual.)

👉 Cadence tip: Acknowledge her answer, keep it light, and move directly to the next question. This isn’t brunch.

Question 2: “And where abouts are you located again?”

Why it works: It gives you logistical context and naturally grounds the conversation. It helps you gauge her support system, time zone, and local culture.

👉 Cadence tip: Don’t pause. Ask this immediately after her response to question 1. Keep the energy flowing.

Question 3: “Hey, but listen [Name], I really value your time and mine too—do you have something to jot some notes down with so we can dive right in?”

Why it works: This is your transition cue. It shifts the energy from chit-chat to intentional conversation. It signals that you’re leading this call with purpose.

It’s not forceful—it’s respectful. And it saves you from wasting 12 minutes talking about TikToks and toddler tantrums.

👉 Cadence tip: Say this smoothly right after question 2. Warm, grounded, direct.

Why This Structure Matters (More Than You Think)

I’ve seen brilliant, heart-led doulas lose consults by getting stuck in small talk for 20 minutes—then running out of time for the actual conversation.

Structure is not the enemy.
Structure is what creates safety.

These three questions act like a warm-up for the nervous system. They move your client out of her busy-brain and into a space where she can actually receive what you’re offering.

When you start a consult with confidence and clarity, you create space for connection and conversion.