How to Be Bold Without Being Bitchy: Doula Messaging That Books Clients, Silent Sales Killer #2
The Silent Sales Killer Keeping Doulas Invisible: Why Playing Nice Won’t Get You Paid
Welcome back to the Booked Out Energy blog series, where we uncover the 5 silent sales killers sabotaging your doula business—often without you even realizing it.
If you’ve been giving your all on Instagram, posting every day, offering tips, sharing your knowledge, and still wondering why the inquiries aren’t rolling in… this is for you.
These sales blocks come directly from the real-life coaching I do every week inside Sell to Serve, my signature program for doulas ready to master ethical selling, bold branding, and consistent client bookings.
If you missed Part 1, go back and read about The Over-Educator—a must if you’re constantly posting educational content but not getting hired. But today, we’re diving into the second sneaky habit draining your visibility and bookings.
Silent Sales Killer #2: The Vanilla Vibes
If your messaging feels safe, sweet, and kind… but forgettable, this is the one to read twice.
What Is Vanilla Vibes Energy?
Let’s get real—if your posts could’ve been written by any doula on the internet, you have a visibility problem.
You might be sharing things like:
“Birth is a rite of passage.”
“Your body was made to do this.”
“Every mom deserves support.”
While those things are beautiful and true, they aren’t memorable.
They aren’t bold.
They aren’t personal.
And they aren’t selling.
Vanilla messaging blends in. It doesn’t get you hired.
Why So Many Doulas Play It Safe
Most doulas don’t show up vanilla because they lack passion—they play small because they’re afraid of being too much.
Afraid of being called dramatic.
Afraid of being misunderstood.
Afraid of sounding like they’re judging someone else’s birth choices.
But let’s reframe it.
Bold doesn’t mean bossy. It means clear. Confident. Compelling.
You’re not being loud for attention. You’re being direct so the right clients can find you and feel seen.
Because the truth? Playing nice won’t get you paid.
My Personal Story: From Dimming to Booking
One of the most damaging things my ex-husband ever said to me wasn’t loud—it was quiet and constant.
Whenever I showed up online with heart and fire, I’d hear:
“Why do you always need so much attention?”
That phrase made me question my voice, my presence, my passion. I softened. I got careful. I edited myself into invisibility.
And what did that get me?
Ghosted. Undervalued. Ignored.
Online and in my own house.
But here’s what I know now:
The very thing that makes you feel “too much” is often your greatest strength in business.
Your boldness.
Your passion.
Your truth.
That’s what your dream clients are looking for.
How to Be Bold Without Being Performative
Let’s be clear: you don’t need to stir the pot to get noticed. You just need to stop hiding the truth you already know.
Start here:
What do you wish more moms knew before giving birth?
What misinformation breaks your heart?
What made you say: “That’s it. I’m becoming a doula”?
Those are the hills you’d die on. That’s your core message.
When you start showing up with that energy—online, in consults, on podcast interviews—your audience feels it. They remember it. And they trust you.
And trust is what sells.
Shouting gets attention. Telling the truth builds connection.
You don’t need a megaphone. You need conviction.
A Real-Life Reminder of Why This Matters
Last weekend, I had one of those “this is the life I dreamed of” moments. We were out on the water—my husband, our toddler Enzo, and two local families. Five little boys under five. Rafts, floaties, sunshine, joy.
And I was overwhelmed with gratitude.
Not just for the sunshine—but for the freedom to take a weekday off.
For the income that allows us to make memories like this.
For the business I built that doesn’t just make money—it makes space for my family.
That’s why I teach doulas how to sell.
Because when your business is built on bold truth, not vanilla vibes—you don’t have to sacrifice your peace, your personality, or your power to get paid.
Ready to Shift Out of Vanilla Energy?
If this hit home, go download my free resource:
The 5 Silent Sales Killers Lurking in Your Doula Biz (and How to Fix Them Fast)
It’s the mindset reset and sales clarity you need to finally stand out online, get inquiries that convert, and become the go-to doula in your area.
Click here to download it now!
Your work isn’t soft. It’s revolutionary.
And your message deserves to sound like it.
